Frank Ocean - We All Try Official Video [Lyrics In Description]

For Colored Girls

Rating: 4/5

I literally just finished watching this movie. This movie right here, is a masterpiece. It was a bit slow in the beginning and I had fooled myself into thinking I was not going to cry. Foolish me cried several times afterward, even when the credits rolled. This movie is powerful. Why? Because it portrayed these woman with different lifestyles and stripped back their layers and revealed to us, the watchers, the audience, that when life knocks you down to the point you want to die, you still have to get back up. These woman only have two things in common: they are african american woman and they have their own individual issues. What I really liked about this movie was that they used woman who represented the different lifestyles of people. One was rich, another was being abused, one couldn't have children, and one was a promiscuous woman.

At times it feels like too many things are going on at once, like you don't have time to breathe because there is even more drama unfolding on the screen. Another thing that put me off was the way they spoke at times. It was like they were spitting poetry and as a writer and poet myself, I found that beautiful but confusing at times. I just didn't understand why they were using poetry to speak, but I guessed it was to show what they felt in a way that differed from the usual. 

For Colored Girls is a beautiful movie meant to teach that id there is one thing you should hold onto, it is yourself. It is a movie meant to be watched and enjoyed. When you watch this film, start it with an open mind and an even more open heart , so give it a chance, you won't be sorry.

Unwanted Love

My friend told me he loved me, and since I have no one to actually tell it to, I'll tell it to you (un)lucky reader!   It all started off normally, us just hanging out in my living room, and me trying to ignore him. Right now, we're going through a rough patch in our friendship (he's overly clingy and I get annoyed easily). Sooner or later, we started to converse. He came around 3pm and at 1am, when I was considering kicking him out, he asked me "Hey Denise, you hate when people hide things from you right?"

I had looked at him weird, and said, "Yes, because it usually gets back to me at some point."

He made a sound and kept looking at his phone. "Do you have something you want to say to me?" He smiled and I knew right then, that the night was about to be ruined.

It took him some time to formulate his thoughts and during that time, I sat away from him. To make this go faster, I'll skip to the important parts.

When he was ready, he said, "I never believed in love..."

In my head: Oh boy.

And from there, he confessed how I changed his life (I helped him through his depression) and when he started liking me and that I was this and that, blah, blah, blah. I honestly didn't care, because I have rejected him twice before. This time however, was the first time he said love and I asked him, "What was my response from before?" He made a face after that. A few minutes later, he followed me to my room, because I didn't want to be near him. He kept saying he loved me and he would do anything for me. He kept saying he would change for me, that all I had to do was say what I didn't like.

I stared at him and yelled "Remember how I told you not to change for anyone but yourself?" He had nodded, his figure leaning against the door frame of my door. I was looking through my closet, trying to distract myself from him, in hopes he would leave me the hell alone, but instead, he stayed in that spot and continued talking.

At this point, I snapped. I called him pathetic for not being able to take the word no and for purposely keeping himself in hopeless situations. I told him to give up because nothing was going to change.

He said he wouldn't give up and that he wasn't pathetic. He said he was afraid of loneliness. I turned away from the closet and glared at him.

"Brandon, you're 16 and acting as if you'll never love again. You don't know how many people you'll go through by the time you're 50. How many people's hearts you'll break or how many times your heart was broken. You're acting as if me saying no and Arienne saying no is a sign that no one will ever love you."

Him: "But I'm afraid that you'll get hurt. That the guy won't treat you as good as me."

Me: "At the first sign of anything, I'll dump the bitch. Plus, it's my choice not yours. I just don't want to go out with you and nothing you can say can change that."

He then says he's mad that I won't give him a chance and blah. Honestly, we continued for a couple or 20 minutes before he decided he should leave.

At the door, he says he loved me and I just hummed. He hugged me and was sadden that I didn't hug back (I rarely do). When the door was opened, I just smiled and told him to have a safe trip and goodbye. He stared at me and then left, bidding his goodbye in the hallway.

Ugh. I hate when shit like this happens. Give me advice someone!   

Life is pain plus smiles

There are days where you are going to feel broken, worthless and forgotten. There are days where nothing seems right, goes right, or feels right at all. We have days that seemed to stretch into years, where our minds seem to hold our souls captive to torture us with dark thoughts and self hatred. But there are also days where we can't stop smiling, giggling, laughing. There are days that we wish never end, wanting to keep that moment alive forever. There are days where everything does go right, where we feel like the sexiest people on Earth, the smartest person in our class. Just keep your head up when things go wrong and remember, pain and happiness is apart of life.

Aaliyah

Full Metal Panic Fumoffu

I didn't remember how funny this show was XD. Watch it!!!!

Loneliness and Mental Wars

Okay, okay, okay. I'm going to be upfront with you, I'm a bit lonely. Surprised? Don't be. I tend to stay to myself and keep my emotions under key and lock. Since I lost my best friend I feel as if I cant trust anyone. I don't feel the need to share my feelings, well, actually I do, but I don't really trust anyone to when it come to my emotions and being vulnerable.  Why? Because it always comes back to bite me in the ass. Allowing myself to be weak in front of other people has lead to more heartbreak than ever.

That's why I can barely stand the human race as it is. Because so many people have hurt me and taken the trust that I put in their hands, and watched as they shred it to pieces. And now I'm nursing wounds from bonds that were broken and wishing that I had never trusted the wrong people with something as fragile as my trust. Yes, I know, I'm whining aren't I? Blame it on the teenage angst I suppose.

Now, I want to make something very clear. I don't want your pity nor do I need it. I'm strong enough to carry around all my problems and stand n my own two feet. Yes, I'm struggling, but the point is I'm doing it. The thing is it's hard when you feel like you have no one to talk to, to be vulnerable, to pour out all of your problems and emotions in front of them. Forgive me if I'm coming off as an unstable brat, but... at this point, it's pathetic to say, that I feel as if this blog is the only thing that I can spill my issues to. I'm trying to be mindful of the people who come on here and limiting what I reveal about my mental and emotional state, but it's too late for that now huh?

I'm not even the legal age limit to drink and already I feel as if I experienced the emotional range of what a 70 year old would have went through. I might be exaggerating but in truth, I don't really care what you guys think. Some teens go through wars at their homes and mine just happens to take place in my mind.

Sure, it does suck to have to fight a battle everyday and not tell anyone about it. But I'm willing to stand in a suit of armor by myself if that means I'm stronger by the time the war ends. Well, look at that, I'm babbling. So let me finish off by saying that I'll be alright, I just wish I wasn't as alone as I let myself be. But it is a choice that I made and only I can make and I'm willing to accept the consequences of all my choices. Even this one. Thanks for reading.